when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
