Are we in a gay sports bar?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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