Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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