new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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