and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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