I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
