Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
