so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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