I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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