So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
