I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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