even my farts smell like vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
