How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
