I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
