I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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