i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
