That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
