This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
