Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
