so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
