oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
