Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize