The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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