i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
