It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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