doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
