I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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