I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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