Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
