you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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