Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize