mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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