Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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