apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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