What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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