You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
