i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
