i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize