We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
