ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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