I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
