doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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