I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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