i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize