Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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