I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I see more hoeing in ur future
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