Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
