I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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