just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
