Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What a dumb baby whore.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
