I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize