i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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