I'm so fucking centered right now
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
