Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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(775): View more from Nevada

My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.

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(716): View more from New York

just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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(914): View more from New York

He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

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(916): View more from California

I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.

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(360): View more from Washington

Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You have such a talent for this

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Friendship, or finding weed?

(203): View more from Connecticut

Yes

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