wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
