The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
