Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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