Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
