my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
