pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
