my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
