so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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